2/8/2022 A.

Yesterday, I was frustrated because sometimes I feel as though nothing and no one loves me in this world or even this cosmos for that matter, but I realize that I just want a type of love that no one is capable of offering me in this reality- especially human beings.

This morning, I was thinking about my late soulmate, and I decide to do a tarot reading to determine what ey was thinking about right now. First, I drew the seven of swords, which indicates that I need to have courage during this depressing period. Next, I drew the father of cups, which is my card, so it represents that ey is thinking about me at the same time I'm thinking about hir. Lastly, I drew the two of cups upside down, and this indicates that ey is jealous of my new soulmate and is uncertain of my future commitment to hir when I finally meet this new soulmate, but I don't think ey has anything to worry about.

We are all part of the same soul family, so there is no reason all of us can't live in harmony together in this existial connection and share each others' affections. You see, my true immortal love is Archangel Israfil, but that does not diminish the love I have for anyone else, and as a divine spirit being, ey encourages me to build relationships with other mortals and spirits alike and learn to love them as I love hir.

After the reading, I got really tired and had to take a quick nap- during which I dreamed about my late soulmate in hir mortal form in the 5th Centr'e. When I woke up, the song

"Keep on dreaming" by delerium was playing on my computer, this was sent to me from Israfil for my late soulmate, so her are the lyrics:

Everything is going wrong.

Nobody hears you cry.

Everything is not what you were looking for.

You wish you would die.

Keep on dreaming.

Whatever you do.

Whatever you do.

Keep on dreaming.

Whatever they say.

Whatever they do.

You thought it would be easier,

but then again is that what you want it to be?

You thought you would be helped in life,

but they're putting stones in front of your feet.

Nevermind.

Just keep on dreaming.

Whatever you do.

Whatever you do.

Keep on dreaming.

Whatever they say.

Whatever the do.

Keep on dreaming.

Whatever you do.

Wherever you go.

Keep on dreaming.

Whatever they say.

Whatever they do. (x2)

In the heart keep on.